Valentine's Day

I never really liked Valentine's Day. I like the chocolate, but chocolate is year-round. I was at the senior fundraising Valentine's Dinner last night, and that was actually enjoyable. I got to dress up with my black skinny-cut black pants, white shirt, waistcoat and tie, and do a couple songs on my acoustic. A bunch of us pulled apart lettuce heads and dunked them into a sink of ice-cold for salads. It's amazing how heavy two buckets of lettuce are. I learned that I cannot cut carrots into paper thin matchsticks, and that Buca spaghetti is the best thing in the world after five hours of serving on half a sandwich and chips. Then I went home and felt like I had scorching metal splinters inserted into my shin bones.

So today was actually Valentine's Day. I'm getting a cold, so I felt like crap. I took Yoshi out to get washed, groomed, teeth brushed and his nails clipped. He smells much nicer now. We saw Coraline, which was amazing. The theater was packed and I failed to understand what movies could possibly entice Valentine couples. "He's Just Not That Into You?" I have my doubts on that.

I liked Valentine's Day last year. I got my first rose from a boy who wasn't my father. But nothing lasts forever, and there will be other roses. I dunno. There's just a lot of pressure. For everyone. I've learned to lower my expectations for men, especially at this age. They're completely clueless. At least the ones I've had experiences with.

To Be Emo Or Not To Be

My first blog was all emo poetry, as I called it. I love having an identity, a label, even though I pretend to be undefinable. In the end, I think everyone likes to know they can be understood in one word. Goth, emo, punk, skater, preppy, nerd (musicals, math, literature, etc), loner....it doesn't encompass all of someone of course, but it gives someone an idea right away, and then we can shatter all their assumptions. I'm not sure if anyone I know would describe me as "emo" on first thought. I'm a nerd about literature and knowledge in general. I collect movie trivia and can name any one song and artist playing on the radio in ten seconds flat. But I do wear skinny jeans and recently cut my hair to better express my personality. I listen to goth metal. I wonder if this is all really part of who I am, or if I'm subconsciously trying to follow a crowd. Everyone is following someone in a sense, no one can be completely and entirely "original," after all, there's nothing new under the sun.